Well it is December! I can't believe the end of the the year is a few weeks away. I say that every year but each year seems to go quicker than the one before. If you're like me you may be reflecting on the past 11 months and taking inventory of what you did and did not do, if you reached your goals, and the personal gains or losses. For me, December is sometimes a very sobering and eye opening month. I always ask myself, did I keep the commitments I made to myself and to God.
This year had some highs and some deep valleys. Some of the valleys were dark, and casted a shadow on 2021 that felt insurmountable, like when we lost a dear family member at the tender age of 21. It rocked our family to the core, and was a reminder of the fragility of life. Emerging from the pandemic had it's own challenges, for myself and my now teenage daughter who returned to school as a sophomore after being at home since the end of 8th grade! Talk about adjustments! Not to mention my transition as I begin this journey of emancipation and loosening the reigns of parenting, so my teen can eventually evolve into a self sufficient young adult. Friend, I can't tell you how many times I have stumbled and failed at this new stage in momming! Another big whammy was the Single Moms of Faith Conference that I canceled due to a number of unfortunate factors, it left me feeling like I failed my speakers and attendees. Yes, 2021 threw its share of curve balls!
However, I would be remiss not to mention some of the peaks! We were able to travel, and did a 2 week trip to New Orleans and Savannah, where we indulged in beignets at the beautiful Ritz Hotel where we stayed and had a fabulous time. A small article I submitted is being published in a magazine at Focus on the Family in the upcoming months, which I am super excited about! I also tried my hand at some much needed home improvements, that turned out well, and on the financial front I saved $4,000 in my emergency savings! Oh, and I booked a trip to Portugal for a month in June! So, 2021 did have so me bright spots.
But, if I'm honest, this year I struggled with my old acquaintance... procrastination which always leads to self sabotage. For me this has meant another year of not getting in shape, not writing the book, not putting up the online course and basically not walking in what I believe is God's best for my life. This realization has made me sad, and most of all angry with myself! For the past couple days I threw myself a pity party and drank in self doubt, fear, and disappointment. But today, I opened the Bible and came across this scripture...
"Forget the former things, do not dwell in the past,
See I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland."
Don't you just love how God shows up exactly when you need Him to speak to your tender heart and runaway, weary mind? This scripture gave me a much needed reminder that God is always doing a new thing! He does not want us sitting around and dwelling in everything we did wrong, didn't do, or the things that didn't work out. He wants us to us keep our eyes on Him, and perceive the newness that springs up when we place our hope and our faith in His promises!<